Suzy Q Homemaker

Until last night, I didn't realize how passionate I was about breastfeeding. I mean, I always knew that it was something I felt strongly about. It's obvious: I attend LLL meetings, I'm applying to be a leader, and I love giving advice to mothers and mothers-to-be.

I failed on behalf of my nephew-to-be.

My sister-in-law is due with her first baby in May. When she got pregnant, she said she didn't know whether or not she was going to breastfeed. Of course, I offered information. I brought her with me to a LLL meeting. I gave her books to read. I did everything I could without seeming obnoxious or intrusive.

But I failed.

We ate dinner with Jamie's mom, Jamie's brother and his wife. Before dinner, I asked my SIL if she needed a pump. She said no, that she's pretty much decided that they're using formula.

My heart sank and I calmly asked why. Here were her reasons:

• I won't have to worry about pumping every fifteen minutes at work
• My husband can feed the baby without me having to pump
• It'll be easier for my mom to feed the baby without me having to pump.

Despite all my efforts, she hasn't learned a thing. My sister pumped for her TWO SETS OF TWINS. And the thing, is I don't even think she's going to try. She'll be home for 8 weeks after the baby is born, so what's stopping her from doing what is natural and beautiful and BEST for her child? In my sister's opinion, my SIL wants a baby, but without all the responsibility.

I'm not saying that she's going to love this baby any less. I'm not saying that she's going to be a bad mother for choosing to formula-feed her baby.

What I am saying is that her reasons for formula-feeding her baby are completely selfish. I can't bring myself to understand or accept her reasons.

All I could do, though, when she gave me her "reasons" was say, "Okay," and just leave it.

When Jamie arrived at his mother's house (he had been at work), I was still in shock. So much so that I had to go outside to talk to him. At that point, I just started crying. I felt devastated for this baby, who will most likely be born by c-section because her OB told her she'll be induced if she goes one day over her due date. I felt devastated because I'm related to these people, they're about to be my next door neighbors, and they are the complete opposite of everything I stand for.

How can I learn to bite my tongue at family gatherings when they're shoving disgusting sugar-water-milk into this baby's system, stinking up the world with formula poop in his environmentally unfriendly Pampers? Don't get me wrong, I've contributed my fair share of disposable diapers into the earth's lanfills, but I'm making up for it now!

I'm happy for my sister-in-law and her new baby-to-be. I just can't be happy about the choices she's made regarding the health of her child. She is a selfish, selfish person.